I’m Never Writing Another Article Again – EDHREC

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(Strandwalker | Art by Igor Kieryluk)

This has been a great week for me. Time Spiral Remastered spoilers have been popping out, and I’m so into it. Besides the particular timeshifted playing cards in the original Magic frame, (one thing I used to be assured we’d by no means see once more,) there’re so many bizarre references in Time Spiral to Magic units gone that it make a historical past nerd like me very completely happy. Plus, there’re so many playing cards getting reprinted that can make them approach cheaper. Pact of Negation, Venser, Shaper Savant, Pulmonic Sliver, and…

Delay??

No no no no no no no no no. I’ve a private vendetta towards this factor. We can not put this card into the arms of extra folks. Shut it down! Shut the entire set down! This can not stand! I’m calling Wizards proper now to place a cease to this!

What? Oh, welcome again to this collection the place we rank each Equipment primarily based on the variety of decks on EDHREC and no matter. Does someone have Maro’s cellphone quantity?


265: Riot Gear: 51 Decks

“Ah, man, guys! I’m so ready to go riot: I got a very basic set of armor, a big spiky gauntlet for one hand, and a mask that barely covers my eyes. I’m ready to go!”

“Um, Steve. Don’t you assume you may want a protect to guard your self, or some kind of particular armor to guard you from magic attacks, or, on the very least, one thing to cowl your very uncovered trunk and ears?”

“What? Of course not. My gauntlet is blue-raspberry-flavored! I can handle anything!”

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Steve tripped as he was leaving for the riot and ended up in a coma for six weeks.


264: Torch Gauntlet: 54 Decks

Can I give Torch Gauntlet an underplayed as a result of the flavour is tremendous cool? These are gloves that allow you to shoot fireplace out of your arms. Even the mechanics are flavorful: they solely give energy as a result of that fireside ain’t gonna enable you defend your self! The card’s no matter, however that is the kind of weapon that I need in actual life that additionally isn’t utterly impractical.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I’d completely burn my arms, however it might be price it.


263: Opaline Bracers: 55 Decks

If you requested me what my least favourite Magic key phrases had been, I feel Sunburst can be pretty excessive on that checklist. It’s simply so pointless since you by no means wish to do lower than max Sunburst. Casting issues like Etched Oracle with three colours is so underwhelming that you just’ll by no means put it in a deck that doesn’t have not less than 4 colours of mana, so why hassle with the mechanic in any respect? You may take away Sunburst from Opaline Bracers and make it price WUBR, and it’d make mainly no distinction.

It doesn’t assist that they really neutered the mechanic. In idea, the extra colours a card is, the extra highly effective they must make that card so it’s definitely worth the danger of not discovering all of your colours. Most of the Sunburst playing cards are unhealthy. Pentad Prism and Engineered Explosives are highly effective for causes that don’t have anything to do with their mechanic. The playing cards that do care in regards to the mechanic, like Opaline Bracers, are by no means definitely worth the quantity of effort to make them work. Heck, they by no means had been. Sword of Kaldra and Opaline Bracers had been each in Fifth Dawn, and Sword grants a much bigger buff than Bracers can ever give, however can go in any deck and can be actually cool. All the Sunburst playing cards seem like they had been made purely for the draft format, besides you needed to draft Fifth Dawn with Mirrodin and Darksteel, and nothing about Sunburst synergizes with these units in any respect. What is the purpose of this factor?

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: This is why I’ll take any likelihood to deliver up Jeremy’s colorless Sunburst deck, as a result of it takes such a uninteresting mechanic and makes it kinda cool!


262: Vulshok Gauntlets: 58 Decks

I don’t know if Vulshok Gauntlets are good, however I do know they’re very cute. You can assault after which Equip them to a distinct creature to get across the untap clause, so in case you’ve acquired six mana to burn and two creatures, they technically don’t have any draw back!

Trying to be a bit extra critical, +4/+2 is a fairly candy buff. You get a card like Brass Squire or Kazuul’s Toll Collector out and these are a fairly candy deal for 2 mana. It’s a smidge awkward in Voltron since you actually solely wish to deal with a single creature, however in additional Equipment-y and fewer Voltron-y decks, like Nahiri, the Lithomancer, possibly you may run it.

Wait wait wait wait wait, I acquired it. Traxos, Scourge of Kroog. There isn’t any draw back to those when Traxos exists, and also you get bizarre janky card factors for taking part in this. 100% on board!

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: All that being mentioned, I don’t care what fancy identify you placed on them: in case your gloves are so heavy that they incapacitate you, you made a nasty pair of gloves


261: Throwing Knife: 58 Decks

If Throwing Knife returned handy, like a hard and fast Razor Boomerang, I’d may take into account it, however when I’m wishing for a card to be extra like Razor Boomerang, I feel that speaks for itself.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Although I do just like the picture of Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger simply chucking this knife at somebody.


260: Cultist’s Staff: 60 Decks

I’m attempting to consider the way you’d must shift the numbers on Cultist’s Staff to make giving +2/+2 and nothing else an impact I’d wish to play in EDH. I feel it’d must be one thing ludicrous like two mana to solid, zero to Equip, or one mana to solid, one to Equip. Obviously, they might by no means print that in a Standard-legal set, so I’m not really suggesting that. It’s simply humorous to consider how a lot of an odd duckling fight is in EDH.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: Frankly, even when Staff was zero to solid, zero to Equip, you continue to in all probability wouldn’t play it in a number of deck.


259: Greatsword: 63 Decks

Greatsword annoys me. Not as a result of the cardboard is unhealthy, which it’s, however as a result of it’s worse than Tormentor’s Trident, not less than in Commander, and but is seeing extra play. Sure, I wouldn’t play both, however in case you’re gonna play one, you may as effectively play the one with a buff dude on it.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: More like mediocresword. Hehehehehehehehe.


258: Heavy Arbalest: 63 Decks

There’s gotta be a approach to go infinite with this, proper? I used to be on the lookout for some kind of creature that you may give this capacity to that might additionally untap it, however I had no such luck. The greatest I discovered was that Cacophodon can deal infinite harm to itself in case you give it indestructible. Hooray? Maybe you are able to do a cute factor with Trench Behemoth? Uhhhhhhhhh, in case you get infinite mana, you possibly can kill with Mage-Ring Responder? Yeah, at that time, you in all probability would fairly have Thornbite Staff

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I’m nonetheless intrigued by this. I really feel like I’ll stumble throughout a deck taking part in this and go, “Oh. That’s the deck for this card.”


257: Necropouncer: 64 Decks

256: Strandwalker: 66 Decks

Nooooooooooooope!

Nope. I’m not speaking about Living Weapon. You can’t make me. I assume we’re simply caught on 257 without end, as a result of I refuse to speak about this abomination! Well, goodbye everybody!

Alright, high-quality!

Living Weapon was mainly only a approach for Scars of Mirrodin block to have a number of creatures within the set whereas additionally rising the Equipment rely. The challenge with the mechanic is that lot of the bottom creatures aren’t actually definitely worth the effort. Necropouncer and Strandwalker are unhealthy creatures in Limited, not to mention Commander, so that you’d actually solely wish to play these if you need the buffs they’ve as Equipment. At least it’s a extremely flavorful mechanic to replicate the Phyrexians… Infecting objects… making them slither in direction of you… unbendingly unreflective of human high quality or thought…. Agggggggh!

Nope! I can’t do it. Everybody has their irrational concern: heights, spiders, chickens, and for me, that factor is shifting intimate objects with out facial options. Look at the art on Strandwalker. It’s terrifying. A large, unfeeling, unbargainable monstrosity lumbering in direction of you! Ooh! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! Necropouncer and Strandwalker are overcosted creatures that are also unhealthy Equipment. There! We’re leaving.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: No! You don’t get extra ideas on this! We’re leaving!


254 (Tie): Shield of the Righteous: 70 Decks

Equipment are kinda naturally aggressive, so it’s fairly bizarre to have an Equipment that solely does issues when the Equipped creature is obstructing. You play a card like Sword of the Animist, you are able to do factor to make it protected to assault and achieve worth. If Shield of the Righteous has the potential to do something, then opponents will simply not assault, so except you’re in a bizarre pressured fight deck that additionally desires to ensure creatures can’t assault, Shield is mainly a useless card.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: I see a bunch of Arcades, the Strategist decks operating this, and that additionally appears unhealthy. +0/+2 is barely a blip in an Arcades deck.


254 (Tie): Hammer of Ruin: 70 Decks

Here’s the key tech card towards each single card on this checklist. I assume in case your meta is mono-“Stoneforge Mystic” decks, Hammer of Ruin is fairly cute, however in any other case, it’s best to simply run a creature like Sunder Shaman.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: Actually, tangent: why aren’t folks operating extra Sunder Shamans and Trygon Predators? Up towards an enchantress deck or an artifact deck, or perhaps a typical management deck? Introduce them to a smashy smashy buddy


253: Veteran’s Sidearm: 74 Decks

Hey, we’re getting nearer to the legendary Short Sword! Sure, Veteran’s Sidearm is nonetheless not ok to truly be playable, however possibly the following time we see a card like this, it could be not horrible!

Over, Under, or Just Right? Overplayed: The card’s identify can be simply the artwork description, so the creativity on the cardboard can be not nice.


252: Ravager’s Mace: 81 Decks

So clearly, you don’t wish to play this in a non-Party deck. In a Party deck, Ravager’s Mace is gonna give a most of +4/+Zero and okay evasion? That’s not the worst factor you may play. Zagras, Thief of Heartbeats may wanna take this with him as he brings the Party to your opponents’ faces.

That Equip price of two{B}{R} is tremendous gross, although. The auto-Equip on Mace mitigates {that a} bit, but when Zagrus dies, it’s nearly by no means going to be price the price to re-Equip. I assume it’s high-quality in a Party aggro deck, however it’s additionally not a card I like.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Just Right: I feel if we ever get extra Party payoffs, this card is among the first ones you narrow to make room.


251: Demonspine Whip: 82 Decks

Equipment Firebreathing, huh? There’s gotta be one thing cool we will do with this, though the synergy web page for Demonspine Whip isn’t any assist in any respect in deciphering that. Bring to Light and Worthy Knight shouldn’t exist on the identical web page, so we’ll must do some digging to search out this card’s dwelling. I’d blame the Knights on the web page totally on Syr Gwyn, Hero of Ashvale being a Mardu Equipment common. Being just one to Equip makes Whip a fairly good card in Voltron-esque-style decks, since late sport it makes any creature a menace. I’d windmill slam this in Zurgo Helmsmasher or simply straight Malfegor for some type a Rakdos Voltron deck? I don’t know that’s a factor, however I would really like it to be one.

Frankly, although, I’m extra all for taking part in Whip with creatures that care about having excessive energy. Hateflayer for tens of millions, Hellhole Flailer to place a gun on the desk, making Myriad Construct or Nadier, Agent of the Duskenel into bizarre Secure the Wastes. That’s simply in Rakdos. Momentous Fall and Lifeblood Hydra appear very humorous with this card. Mycoloth for 1,000,000 each flip? Bloodspore Thrinax to completely buff all the things. And possibly that’s leaning in direction of Magical Christmasland thinking, however you’re not bending over backwards to place this card in your deck. It’s low cost to play, cheaper to Equip, and someday you’ll simply have 1,000,000 mana to place into this card. I’m kinda smitten with it.

Over, Under, or Just Right? Underplayed: This is the primary card on this checklist that I legit assume is de facto good.


Crack That Whip!

Well, whereas I ship a 1,000 emails to Wizard’s buyer assist, let me know what you concentrate on this batch of Equipment. Do you could have fond reminiscences of Sunburst? Are you into among the area of interest gems like Vulshok Gauntlets? Let me know this and extra within the feedback! Until subsequent week!

Joseph began taking part in in Theros Block however determined that the easiest way to play the sport was to study each single card and hope that might someway make him good at Magic. It hasn’t. He is a university pupil in Santa Fe, New Mexico and in addition enjoys studying and different video games of all sizes and styles.



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